Raise Your Self Esteem: Banish The ‘Suckies’



Self esteem is great but we all have times in our lives when the ‘suckies’ hit.  You feel bad, nothing goes your way, you hate yourself, your life, your body.  The list goes on and on.  How can you deal with life’s ups and downs when it feels like you’re are more down than up!

“Low self esteem changes people’s behaviour in ways that act to confirm the person isn’t able to do things or isn’t very good”

Chris Williams, Professor of Psychosocial Psychiatry, University of Glasgow

For a short while you shut down and go into avoidance mode because it’s less painful and it makes you feel safer but stop and think about that for a while, when does avoiding a problem ever make it any better?  What really happens is avoiding makes it even more difficult for you further down the line because now it’s a habit and they are so much harder to  break.

“In the longer term, this avoidance can actually backfire because it reinforces your underlying doubts and fears.  It teaches you the unhelpful rule that the only way to cope is by avoiding things”

Chris Williams, Professor of Psychosocial Psychiatry, University of Glasgow

Whatever the reason your self esteem is low and the suckies have hit. The great news is it doesn’t need to stay this way.

SO GET CLEAR AND GET WRITING! (Guilty Pleasure Alert: I never need an excuse to buy myself a beautiful new notebook and pen(s)for these tips)

  • Identify the negative beliefs you have about yourself.

Write down the beliefs that you have about yourself.  Come on you know what they are here’s a few of mine to get you going!!
I’m too fat, I’m thick, I’m nothing special, I’m not good enough, I don’t deserve it, I’ll never to able to do that, I’m a bad person, I’m unlovable …..

  • Drill down in to why you have those beliefs.
    Do they come from childhood, from your friends and family or an incident that happened in the past.  Try and pin down exactly where this feeling began.
    WARNING: This can be a painful and uncomfortable experience but don’t avoid it!  It will not go away.  Power your way through the negativity, imagine the relief you will feel once these feelings have no power over you anymore!!!
  • Challenge your beliefs with evidence that disproves this.
    Start looking at why you deserve better than what you are currently getting. I’m nothing special:  REALLY: Did you know that you are a miracle, scientists estimate that the probability of you being born at about one in 400 trillion.  Doesn’t that make me special?
  • Start writing a list of things you like about yourself and recognise what you are great at.
    I am caring, I am honest, I am hard working, I am great at drawing …
  • Do these steps every time the ‘suckies’ hit and a more positive ‘you’ will emerge stronger and more centred than before, like the beautiful butterfly you are.



    Ditch the people who drag you down, you really don’t need them in your life.  At the very least limit the amount of time you spend with them.  Lets face it you don’t need their drama (while you are at it get yourself on facebook and hide anyone who is depressing you, it is really liberating)  Get out and meet some interesting new people
    You listen to people’s and their needs, don’t you deserve the same courtesy. In reality this can be difficult so try and model someone who you know is assertive, use the language / body language they use.
    It isn’t possible for you to please everyone all of the time.  So why are you even trying? For the most part people are ok with you saying ‘no’ remember you aren’t hurting their feelings.  If it’s still to hard start small and build it up.
    People with great self esteem don’t let a pesky thing like fear get in the way.  So set yourself a new goal right now, do something you have always wanted to do.  Commit to doing it right now.

Don’t forget to enrol in our ‘Fight Like A Girl’  Self Defence Course at https://www.ijjauk.com/fight-like-a-girl


(Have you done it yet????????)[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

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